...your God is a Sick Fuck, part I.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I really don't buy into this Jesus bullshit, so I assume this is going to be a reoccurring topic on this here blog. I guess as some point we can talk about why I don't believe in your God, but for now I am going to jump right into making fun of Him/Her/It.

Okay kids, here is your first assignment. Read the below, it is from Genesis 2:18 - 2:22.

2:18 And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

2:19 And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

2:20 And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof;

2:22 And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.

2:23 And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.

2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

So, did you get all that? Not too much to absorb, right?

So what do those passages mean to you?

I'm going to translate that into what I understand it to say...

2:18 - God decided man should not be alone.

2:19 - God made a bunch of animals, he told Adam to name them.

2:20 - Adam named them all, but none of them meet his needs.

2:21 - God went back to work, doing a little surgery

2:22 - God made a chick for Adam.

2:23 - Adam liked the chick.

2:24 - Fucking chicks is good.

You still with me? Do you get where I am going with this?

Okay, I'll spell it out for you. "What need did the chick for fill for Adam that all the animals did not?"

Am I wrong here people, or did your God have Adam fuck every animal on the planet and find them wanting before he decided to create a woman?

Your comments are welcome, but I really don't see any other way to read that.